Slow Down and Be Aware

This week, my two older children had the week off from Spring Break.  Unlike most of my friends, who leave town for an island vacation, Disney or skiing, we stay put.  It’s somewhat nice to be in Ann Arbor when most of the townies leave and the public and private schools are NOT in session.  Not because I want my friends to leave.  Generally speaking, there’s little traffic and I can find parking.

baby boy is much bigger now

As I am getting all my gear and kids out of the minivan for my morning Stroller Strides at Briarwood mall, as I’m strapping in baby boy into the stroller, there is a white-haired woman getting into her Red Ford Escape.  My stroller is right of her left tail-light.  Initially when I parked, no one was there and when I was unloading, no one was there.  My older kids were remaining close to the mini-van.  She must have saw us when she got in her vehicle.  As I was unlocking the stroller, I see her rear-light engaged in reverse.  I’m getting freaked out because my stroller is behind her—WITH my baby in it!  I can’t get the brake disengaged fast enough—I have to move and bang on her car.  I can’t bang hard enough because the stroller is in the way.  She stops but the lights are still on.  I finally get to a point where I can bang harder.  Finally, the lights are off and I disengaged the brakes and start walking with my older kids ahead of me.  The driver comes out of her car and my dander is up.  I can tell from her posture, she’s really to tell me off.  I’m imaging her say, “why were you hitting my car?”  We both pause and she tell me she didn’t know why I was knocking on her car.  “You knocked a couple of times, I didn’t know if that meant it was okay for me to go.”  I’m thinking to myself, “in what universe is knocking on a car a signal to go?” 

My reply, “I needed you to stop.  I have three children and my stroller was right behind your car.”

We aren’t letting each other finish our sentences.

She says, “My car doesn’t have one of those cameras that…”

I response, “I needed to knock twice because you kept going. I have three kids and…”

To my surprise, my voice is starting to crack, as if I’m getting ready to cry, but I’m not.  I’m just running out of air to speak.  I haven’t caught my breath!

We were being cordial, she was apologetic, we held each other’s hand, but I was still angry.   I needed to let it pass because my kids were safe and no need to cause unneeded hostility.

I don’t consider myself passive-aggressive, I typically just say what’s bothering me instead.  As we were crossing the “street” into the mall, my kids asked “why did she get out of her car?”  I made a snide comment in audible range of the woman, “she should have just stopped her car when little kids are around.”   That’s really what I should have told her.  One of those teachable Oprah moments—“I know you are in a hurry to get wherever you are going, you think you can just back up and get out of there, but when there are little kids around, maybe you should just stop and sit in your car for a few minutes longer.  Is the couple minutes you shave worth risking the lives of little kids?”

That’s true for so many people.  They are in a rush—taking shortcuts with their vehicle, swerving across the double yellow line to avoid slowing down and waiting for the bus/car off to the side; jetting through the school parking lot during drop-off and pick-up.

The lesson isn’t just for that woman in her red Escape, but for all of us, that includes me…to slow down and be aware.